I am turning the big 3-0 next month and so far, I have ticked the boxes of marriage and kids the socieltel boxes of “life”. I feel like turning 30 is a scary thing because your no more in that young carefree 20’s zone. But then I remind myself that the older I get, I am getting to know my own impulses.
When my mind is going at 643256 km/hr and realize gosh you just need to let things go, life is too short, stop worrying about things that are also not that important. Or if I get teary eyed because I dropped something on the kitchen floor for the 3rd time that day, it is really because of something I probably ended up holding in from another day that just wants to be let free (I actually need to learn to just cry sometimes, better in than out!). Or when I tell myself listen, you are not going to eat that whole packet of crisps, then that kitkat and binge a Netflix series till 1am because your kids will be awake in the next 6 hours, and well we all know what happens next! Lol. Then we complain we never get enough sleep. Lol.
I do feel like I have learnt to dance to my own tune and I know what makes me happy and what triggers my emotions. I enjoy my own company if you would put it like that. Which for me is comforting because it really means I have learned to get to know me, the real me. I am not soul searching and I already know what certain aspects I would like to work on more going forward in life. I have learnt to take my mistakes and apologize for them, we are old enough to be able to say sorry if we are in the wrong, aren’t we? I have learned to stop being so critical of myself and others, uno not everyones life is black and white. We are all just trying to make it!
My friends are my soul group. If you have been blessed to have had the same friends for the past few years as I have then you are no more friends but more family I feel. Look, there will always be new people who come in and out of your life who will always keep a space in your heart for many reasons, but these certain friends will know you inside and out if you have managed to surpass the 20’s stage of up’s and down’s. The late nights, natural no make up looks, Pj visits sitting in the car talking, the fights, the marriages, the children. All these create stronger bonds between friends who have experienced these things together. Appreciate it.
But the best thing I feel the most happiest about turning 30 is that I really have become unapologetic in a sense where I do not feel the pressure to be a certain look, or have my body look a certain way either. I live my life to my own path, and I will not tolerate shit. I admire everyone who is on that road and who might already be there. Do not fall victim to the ideas of society and live your life towards a certain trajectory. Live your truth, because you are the one who controls it.
To that once seemingly daunting number 30, bring it on!