Marriage advice – part 2

The secret to a happy marriage? There is no specific trick or exact recipe for it, because each couple and relationship is very different from couple to couple. There is a guideline I would say to what makes them work and in this new post we will be going through these guidelines that can be followed to suit your relationship and keep your marriage and relationship blossoming. This post is specifically focused on arguments, staying flexible and keeping the curiosity alive in your partner.

Appreciate the positives, look past the small negatives.

We should always remember that no matter what bad is said in the heat of an argument between husband and wife, that our relationships have been and are wonderful for more good than bad that is why we are in long prosperous relationships. Do not let small quarrels become a thorn in our beautiful rose garden. The more thorns we accumulate the harder it will become to keep maintaining our roses. In this case the roses are referred to as our memories as couples, the milestones we have overcome, small or large meaningful gestures and the love, respect and appreciation we show as couples to one another.

Always remember your partners efforts, do not let them go un-acknowledged. Each partner shows love and appreciation to their spouses in different ways so don’t look at your partner in a less loving way because he doesn’t buy you a bouquet of flowers every week or take you on shopping sprees every month. He may take you out to dinner twice a month or even make you breakfast every weekend or be the most amazing father to your kids or best son in law to your parents, I don’t know.

So what I’m saying is cherish what you as couples share together because those are your special times, appreciate your relationship quirks and do not compare it to other peoples. You never fell in love and decided to marry those people you may be comparing yourself too. Always remember why you chose to spend your life with your spouse and lock the negative out, throw that dam key away! Your marriage is beautiful, yes our spouses can irritate the crap out of us at times but this is only what makes your relationship real. It doesn’t mean that there is a problem, you are normal and so is your marriage. Let it pass through. Make sure you give the situation everything you can at that moment in time and you will flourish because you know what your relationship and bond is created by and you are not creating a false pretense that may not ever happen that will create a negativity unnecessarily.

Stay curious – move our of your comfort zone.

To grow and to keep growing as couples requires you to be curious. There’s no way around it! I think by being curious together strengthens your relationship. For example; if one partner loves the outdoors and wants to share a weekend away with you, share the curiosity because this is a gesture of love. Your spouse is making the effort to want to share something meaningful to them with the person they love. Let go of your personal comfort zone and share this moment with them. Or if there is something spicy that one wants to try well, get on board it might only be that one time and awkward moment and then you never have to do it again, you will probably end up laughing about it. Or it could be something you both enjoy and want to keep exploring. Share your curiosity, live freely and stay curious with your partner.

Prioritize Sex

Just because you have kids doesn’t mean you forget how to make love. Make this a priority! Fortunately, you have the solution, the solution is a pretty simple one: make time for sex. We are busy all in our own ways, but if you cant make it happen put it on a schedule  girl dayyum. This is such an important aspect of marriage, we as human beings need this affection and if we don’t get it. Well don’t you just feel like something is missing? So get to planning if you need to and keep this special and very intimate part of the relationship blooming too. It just needs a little TLC.

Part 3 coming soon!

Ditch the supermom act

Ditch the pressure of being a supermom – just be a super mom?

There is a shit load to do in the day and in the night, you will not be able to do everything for everyone and look like Eva mendez all at once and thats ok! So lets all take the cape off for one dam moment and give ourselves a break. We deserve it!

Do not succumb to the pressure you see from other mom’s out there on social media or even girls you may know who seem to have all there ducks in a row. Lets be real, motherhood is one tiring journey where your stuck between wanting to spend all your time with your kids and be the rock star mom you are but also want to have a coffee and watch your favourite netflix show without feeling tired by 9pm.

No one is over here trying to tell you, your not an awesome mom because you shout at your kids a few times a day or tell them to eat their food for the millionth time or forget to pack something for school, again.

This is the life of a mom. If your not in between sleepless nights, diaper changing, weaning, carpooling, exercising, homework and errand running – you are cooking, being a wife, a daughter, a daughter in law, a friend, working, studying and even running a business.

Give yourself a break and do what you feel is right and what you can manage, be the best mom you already are. Don’t aspire to be like another mom you know, just live your best life and be happy, we all have different journies and trials and we are all great moms.

Life is life and motherhood is real.

So to all the mom’s out there who know me or don’t know me. I love gangster rap music, I love to dance and sing whist I iron clothes, I have very few good friends, I speak my mind about motherhood and life and yes I shout at my kids sometimes and tell them to eat their food a milion times a day, but it doesnt make me a bad mom it makes me a human.

Love to all my real super moms be you and enjoy your journey.