Coping with the lockdown 2021

An anonymous share from a fellow mom about her tricks to help cope with lockdown in 2021!


Mom, wife, sister, friend, employee, student, homemaker, teacher and caregiver all at the same time all equally demanding attention. 2020 had been exhausting for women and a few men too. After reflecting on the year, I did some thinking on what worked and what didn’t work in trying to manage the up’s and down’s.

Here are some of the things I will be doing this year, which have served me and my family well.

Learning to let go..

Instead of trying to be the perfect mother by tracking how much t.v. my kids watch, what the family eats and how clean the house is, I have learnt to be more forgiving and less rigid. I still beat myself up about a messy kitchen or shoes lying everywhere, but letting go means I spend less energy stressing about it and more energy to focus on the things I can get through. This cut my down my stress making me kinder to my kids.

Let go of waste

Through cutting down what we have in the house that we done use, toys, clothes, and random odds and ends, I have less and less to tidy up. This has made the house more pleasant as well as see the kids imaginations grow with having less toys. I have also opted for smarter organizing in the house.

Play

I love learning alongside my kids so science experiments are great for all of us – and they are so simple surprisingly fast and easy to do, making them the perfect option when I’m taking a quick tea break from work. This way I get to spend time with my kids, let them learn and we have plenty of giggles. The James Dayson Foundation has created challenge cards for kids of all ages that were fun, inexpensive and importantly they don’t take much time!  

Talking about feelings

Talking to my kids about the coronavirus, what is happening and how it affects them has given them the space to ask questions on the anxieties they face. As a school goer, the disruption to her schooling led to anxiety and by talking about our feelings, she managed to express her (strange) fears about the virus and we have worked to reduce her fears. Though talking about our feelings,  we have learnt from one another and have been able to lean on each other for support.

Have dinner together

It sounds simple, but trying to cook after a long days of work, homeschool, cleaning, and exhaustion meant that some dinners would only take place 20 minutes before bedtime! Yet without fail, we sit together and have time to connect.

Some of the best conversations take place around the dinner table.

Mindfulness in Salaah (prayers)

I am learning to use my Salah as a time of mindfulness, a break from the busy-ness and to find some stillness. By immersing myself in my Salah, I find that this gives me a break in the day to be present Allah and to acknowledge without judgement if the day is going well, stressful or just ok. Irrespective it’s a time for regrouping my energy and focus.

Practicing mindfulness “on the go”

This helped me to be more present in my tasks, be it work, play, cleaning or connecting with my husband. So rather than having my mind running on 100 things, I can focus on doing one thing well… well most of the time, I still need a lot of practice, but when I do get it right, the results have been so richly rewarding!

Gratitude

I am choosing to start each day with gratitude is one part of the process of trying to live a life of gratitude. We all know that benefits of gratefulness, and that it takes effort. My biggest lesson in gratefulness is that it does not equate to acceptance – rather it has taught me that fighting – be it for justice or your dreams – is a critical part of grateful living.   

Leverage the past as a resource

A guide for the present is by learning to stop rumination. Rumination is the act of thinking about the same thoughts over and over and over again. When we think about the past, good or bad, the emotions of that event build up in us and this heightens anxiety. Rumination is part of what makes us human, yet it can be dangerous. I have learnt to notice when I am ruminating without feeling bad about it through mindfulness practice and to then focus my energy on the present. Rather than trying to change what happened in the past, I’m trying to focus on how to learn from it.  

Schedule

Planning meals, activities and shopping trips weekly helps me cope better. It relieve the pressure on us to think of what to eat, cook or what to occupy the children with. Building in a routine (that we break every so often without judgement) helps us to cope with the day to day grind.

Having honest conversations

The phrase, don’t bring your home into work, has been shattered. I have learnt that it is not unprofessional to speak up about my needs from work to balance and juggle things. We are all human, so approach topics with empathy and understanding and standing up for myself has been good for me and the company I work for. Not only do people respect my boundaries, but I am more productive.

Letting go of judgement

With billions of people in the world, there can never be only way of doing things. We all have our own quirks, ways of working and our own beliefs on what is important in life. Suspending judgement and seeing people as they are in their own truth is something I am trying to practice daily. It has allowed me to enjoy my relationships with those I love as I respect their way of doing things and not force my opinion. Celebrating our differences for me, makes life richer and more interesting.  


I hope a few items I have spoken about will help you in your 2021 journey to cope with lockdown better. We are all in this together so still connect to those around you and have a blessed year!

Love Anonymous xoxo

How I got rid of the pacifier

I think many people have a stigma placed around the use of a pacifier or as we call them here in Africa, ‘dummies’. Some reasons behind it that I have heard of are, it can create nipple confusion for baby if on the breast, it can slow the speech down and also make the teeth grow skew.

I personally had the dummy for all three kids who are now 9, 7 and nearly 3 years old. All had no nipple confusion, spoke when they were ready to speak and there teeth are fine! And let me tell you having the dummy was a lifesaver of note when you have a little baby that needs settling in an instant or just to get a decent nights sleep with a niggly newborn when your tired. I do not regret the decision to have given all three kids the dummy.

Remember this is a personal choice for everyone.

So on this post I wanted to share how we transitioned off the dummies for the kids and maybe share some tips for people looking to do the same.


So how did we start and how did it go?

I am not a firm believer in taking baby steps with this. I think as a mom you know when the right time is for your baby/toddler to now stop the dummy. There is no right age neither is there the right solution for every child. My view is when they are ready to start the transition phase off the dummy, they seem to have a sense of understanding, independence and have started to not need the dummy most of the day. It becomes more a habit than what is needed I’d say. I stopped all the kids at around 2 and a half I would say, and I went ‘cold turkey‘.

For me this was going to be the quickest way to stop the habit and yes I think the most challenging in a sense because you will have to throw all the extra’s and spare’s the one you been hiding in your cupboard for an emergency, you can’t go to the store to buy a new one. It will be tears, tantrums, cuddling and constant asking. The emergency is never coming. THIS IS YOUR LIFE NOW FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS! God speed! lol

So have your reason ready to why there is no more dummy (I told my first two kids the dogs ate them and the last one that it got lost). We walked around and looked for them but we just could not find any. You definitely need a reason and stick to it.

After a few days they did forget about it. And this is what surprised me after every try with all the kids is that with this technique, the kids quickly forgot about it because there minds became occupied with other things like playing, eating, watching tv, going for drives etc..

The nights were a bit of a struggle. I wont lie. But the kids got very tired from a full day of play and trying to resist sleep most of the day because they missed the feeling of the dummy, but eventually they fell asleep without it on their own. Days passed I wouldn’t say more than a week, and the dummy was a thing of the past. Hard work paid off with the niggling kids, tears and sleepless nights but you will make it through no matter what process you take.

Saadiyah xx

This was my way of doing it, I am not telling anyone to follow my steps but I wanted to share my journey and experience with this topic. If you have a tip or trick please comment on my IG page under this post and share it with other moms.

Working from home with kids.

I write this article because I really feel like being a mother and working through this pandemic has been a hard road not only for myself but others too. Trying to balance work whether you are employed, self employed, on an entrepreneurial journey, an influencer or if I am being truthful just being a stay at home mom as your career is a job in itself, is a challenging just as any job out there too.

Sometimes I feel like working from home is just impossible at times. As you are trying to have a meeting or send an email out or your trying to meet a deadline on a project. There they are raiding the pantry, or one is fighting with the other and all you are hearing is “muuum this one is doing that, muuum that one is doing this!!”.

I got interrupted about 5 times whilst writing this article, lol.

Now I am not saying this to discourage anyone currently working from home, but it is just a message to let you know that honestly, it’s not just you, or your kids — it’s just that hard. Even if you do have a helper or a big yard for them to play in. The concentration you really need to get things done is hard to channel and not everyone has the patience to look past it.

If you are a night worker you might just get away with it as the kids will be sleeping but, if your a day worker you got to know your magical tricks to get work done with all the chaos. Especially if you have more than one child and they are under the age of 6.

Mothers are the primary focus in the household so no matter when it is, in the day or night you will be called up to do that parenting duty. Sometimes whether you can spare that time or not during your work schedule. Kids more so I think rely on their mums for most things at home, dads and others can get away with more time to spend on tasks at hand.

So when you are now working from home more often with the added stress of a global pandemic, take the time to try and make things a little less stressful for yourself with these few tips:

  1. Just know that the kids will all take turns coming to ask loads of questions on random things most times or even to just to show you a picture — So make sure to have planned yourself for this and know that there is really nothing you can do sometimes. Especially if there is no one around to help you at home. Mind over matter most times in this, don’t allow yourself get pushed to the thin line. Make a thicker line with a marker, lol. (Light humour trying to be added).

2. Take breaks – take breaks and take breaks. No one can work from home for hours straight without it. We are only human so if you can still make your deadlines then take advantage of it. Spend those few minutes with the kids so they will also get a good dose of mom and be okay for a few minutes again without you.

3. Lastly just know you are doing your best and most people are going through what you are. So push on and keep doing what you know you can do at your best. I also struggle most days, but I tell myself every day is different and will continue to be different so take it day by day. Sometimes when you plan, it doesn’t works out and it’s ok.

Lots of love, Saadiyah. xoxo

Something I did not expect as a first time mom

When my hubby and I first found out we were expecting our first child there was a wonderful atmosphere around it and a sense of happiness that could not be explained. I had enjoyed the trimesters with no issues and loved every moment of it. Feeling our child growing and also a new love and respect growing more between us as a couple knowing that this was our baby that was coming into the world.

I think the pregnancy was like a dream and I say this only because after giving birth to our beautiful daughter, I felt like I did not have any “real” knowledge of what the journey ahead would be after the she was born, I mean no one really tells you the truths of motherhood – well when I was pregnant there was no one to tell me.

So now looking back on this first time experience, something was amiss and it was nothing the pregnancy or becoming a mother books try to or actually teach you….

It was – support.

Support from other parents who also had a new child who I could rely on for their support with their stories and then, also the sudden sense of my life changing from my normal actions of day to day routine to something totally new. What crept up after that was fear, the fear of loosing who I was and it crept up faster than a spider running up your leg! Scary, right?

I mean bringing your new child into a new world is not just a world wind in itself but it is also the transition of yourself into motherhood and now leaving your personal one person attention mindset and giving it all to another little life. This is one of the first time mom issues that I was never spoken to about and maybe it was because of the times I grew up in or just that no one wanted to admit they struggled too for show of face in the community.

The reality is most mothers including myself at the time of my first child felt alone because of the way people went about treating new mothers. Telling them everything is ok and you will get used to it like after a week or two. It is not only your changed body you are dealing with but it is your emotional state you are also tag teaming with at the same time. It is not an easy journey to go through alone and you don’t have to be alone.

What emotional grief could most of us have been spared if we were only given a more realistic idea, or invited into real conversations on new real motherhood emotions after birth.

But let us talk about the road to or lets say the beginning of my motherhood journey.

The journey began to find my way.

I was isolated with my fears and lonely at the best of days going through this struggle. I thought, but where is everyone now?

I did not attend any groups or mom clubs. I suppose I never made much effort to look for them. But I did make time to read up on motherhood experiences from other blogs and also to my unknown delight I found an unexpected friend who I got share my experiences with and who had just had a baby a few weeks prior to me.

The honest truth is that the hours I spent online and the time spent with my new found mother friend. I ended up finding my courage and it allowed me to feel the normal ups and downs (as I do still up to today with three lovely kids – there is no embarrassment in that) of motherhood. I started to believe in my abilities of who I was as a mother and how I was bringing up my child and embraced it. There is no right or wrong way to be a new mom or even a current long standing mom. The only right way is to believe in your way of upbringing your child and make sure to follow it through.

You turned out great, and so will you child. You are enough and you always have been!

It may not have been as easy as people perceived my journey to be but, it did come with a great sense of relief when it was discovered. So find a friend, follow a blog or even become that friend to someone who has just started that journey. No matter what, you are never alone, during the good and bad.

Terrible twos – My toddler

So welcome back. I feel like I needed to write on this topic because with my first two kids I never experienced this stage! So here I am opening up on the struggle i have been going through for the past few months of late since lockdown and Covid has started.

Terrible twos, what are they?

Well from what I have read on its basically a normal (I laugh when I read normal because I feel like its the craziest and most patience testing time I have had to endure in all the years with all my kids combined, normal yeah right, abnormal for me lol) developmental phase experienced by young children that comes along with tantrums, excessive whining and crying, defiant behavior, and lots of frustration. It begins anywhere from 18 months to 3 years old and, despite what the name implies, can last well into the third year of life. ( Please send help lol!)

So in the times we are living in it seems a whole lot harder to be able to deal with this better. When i’m cooped up the whole day in the house attempting to keep everyone happy and tummies fed, school work up to date and work up to date and all I really want is 5 min alone. To either cook, exercise, shower or at the least have a cup of tea. I find it harder day by day because there is no real way out of it these “terrible two’s” (agree or disagree?) because we as adults are frustrated during this pandemic so I can only imagine what my little guy is also going through, so the tantrums and frustrations are higher too for him. There is no more car rides to pick up the siblings from school, walking in the shops buying sweeties or even going out to a park for a afternoon of fresh air and new experiences.

I do although find myself very lucky to have my two big kids who have found their independence and gosh they are my little life savers at the worst of my day, they step up and can entertain their younger brother up until a certain extent till he becomes frustrated and cries and cries and whines about these small things. They even ask me, “Mummy why does he cry for nothing?”, oh darlings if only I knew. We all know when he doesn’t get what he wants we all better run for cover and cover our ears lol. I also on the other hand blessed to be able to have a wonderful lady who works for me who cares as much for my kids as for me too. She swoops in when she sees I am over whelmed, lets me sleep in for an extra hour, helps me cook when I am out working and her personality is so much like a mother that I feel like even though my mom is not around in the country she is really someone who I can rely on to look out for me, my kids and my home, and I really couldn’t ask for anything more.

So yes the trial of this age with my smally has brought me some good though, through the frustrations and irritating moments that are quite a lot currently. It has actually made me a lot more patient, and I surprise myself as I actually became more patient than I thought I could have, weird because I realized the more I got my emotions built up the more I tended to push myself away from my kids when they really needed me. When he starts up, I just got to breath and breath in deep within my soul shoo, and I just remind myself that he is trying his best also to express his feelings, or spend his energy when he doesn’t know quite what to do with it yet. We have good days and bad but yes he is my special guy, and he does drive me crazy but suppose this crazy will be the normal crazy for the rest of the year, hopefully if anything God will bless us to get to some kind of normality back soon or maybe we have this time to reflect and change what we actually thought was real life but in fact was a world we were all lost in walking with blinders but now are finally getting to see the world for its true beauty, appreciate family and friends and have better interactions with people in general.

If you have any tips or tricks that worked for you, please comment below.

Peace and love.

Hello, I am mom

I am the mom who sleeps but never really sleeps.

I am a mom who knows what new cartoon is out but not what new movies are out.

I am the mom who listens to rap music and enjoys dancing with my kids in my living room.

I am the mom who tries to feed her children organic and whole foods as much as possible but I still will hold a pre packed meal or a fast food delivery dear to my heart to save my mind.

I am the mom who flies through parenting by the tip of her fingers (just doing it as it comes), I plan and I even own a calendar but I tend to forget some things sometimes.

I am the mom who tries to be crafty, but not for all the things. (Some of you mom’s take the crown!)

I am the mom who tells my kids to play outside, eat mud and be dirty.

I am the mom who throws small, intimate birthday parties at home. (because my circle is small.)

I am the mom who keeps an endless pile of laundry, I promise to get to it though! (Soon, maybe tommorow lol.)

I am the mom who sneaks off to the bathroom and sometimes hides in my car just so I can catch 5 minutes to gather my thoughts. (This also happens when I take out my favourite chocolate too!)

I am the mom who will sit up at night and cry. Sometimes we all just need a good cry.

I am the mom who eats the crust of her kids sandwiches, but makes sure they eat their vegetables.

I am the mom who has to be disciplining yet gentle too.

I am the mom who loves to sit on pinterest and laugh at parenting memes,

I am the mom who sometimes forgets that I actually have a life beyond my home and that is ok.

I am the mom who forgets to buy bread because I get distracted at the grocery store.

I am the mom who loves “moms’ night out” even if it has become just a video call.

I am the mom who will always try to be the best I can be. I have flaws, I make mistakes but I will not forget that these things are what make be a mom.

I am a mom who knows all moms, have a mom who they also love and cherish.

Happy Mothers Day!


I nominate you to download this image, nominate 2 other moms and share it to us @mom_scaping to tell us what kind of mom you are.

Tag us and share the love.

Motherhood and faith

Being a mother in Islam is one of the highest praises a woman status is raised up too. It is a dignified and valued role. The importance of the mother is evident in Islamic teachings. From marriage, to conception and then childbirth and rearing. As a mother in the home it can be quite easy to forget the respect and position, we hold in our homes, as the pillars of strength that hold our households together. We are the glue that holds all the puzzle pieces together, pulling each unit closer when it loosens or tends to move away from the folds. In-between trying to raise our children to be good people and Muslims we are stuck between finding time for ourselves, housework, cooking and our faith too.

Our Prophet S.A.W enjoined goodness to mother’s that we must keep dear to our hearts:

A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most-worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your father. (Bukhari, Muslim)

Islam praises woman so high that we are given the status of fighters in the path of Allah S.W.T when we become pregnant, up until delivery from breastfeeding till we are finished, if we had to die during this time we would be given the status as a Martyr of Islam. Raising virtuous children will be our reward even when we pass away. Alhamdulillah. What positions we hold in Islam, so my dear sisters let us keep our heads up and support each other in the way of our faith.

If one of us falls behind or needs a helping hand. Offer it.

Motherhood entails great difficulty a fact recognized by the Qur’an. Imagine what the mother of Prophet Musa (A) went through when she was told to put her baby in the river, and she was given the re-assurance that her child would be returned to her. Allah asked her to do one of the hardest things imaginable, give her baby away to the unknown. But her Iman (faith) was so strong that she accepted and followed through.

When the baby was picked up by Firawn’s wife he refused to suckle the milk on any foster mother, and it was then suggested by Prophet Musa (A) sister that they try to use her mother. Mother and baby were united by Allah’s promise. (Sura TaHa 37-40, Qasas 7-13) Allah U Akbar (God is great). What strength, what sabr (patience) she had to endure.

Let us all have these qualities in us with our own children, ameen.

We as mothers have outstanding qualities that we forget with our daily life and the chase of the Dhunya (temporal world). I want to remind you as I remind myself too:

The love for our children is unmatched. Our child could be disabled, healthy, troublesome, or obedient but we still overcome these difficulties with love in the end. Whether we shout and punish them when they are misbehaving, this too is a form of love from us as mothers. We are also trying to teach them right from wrong, in the end we always show love and give them comfort after we do. Our children will grow up knowing us as mother’s who bring peace and love to the home. Do children not feel attached to the home because of the mother’s? I think so.

Do not forget that we are the first point of contact to our children when they are born, they are the future of Islam, as what lies in us as mother’s is what we will instil in them as they grow.

As mothers we are hard on ourselves and we forget or do not know by tending to our children we are getting rewarded. Every time we attend to our children we are rewarded or feed our children it is a Sadaqa and we are rewarded for it. Whatever good habits, or good manners and morals that will be performed by our children that we as mothers have passed on to them, we will get rewarded for it. They are our legacies and when we pass away our book of deeds will close, but we will still be able to accrue reward in the form of our pious children who makes dua for us or carry on with the good we had taught them.

So, when you feel like you are struggling with your faith, remember that these actions in themselves give us rewards throughout our daily lives. So, to recap we are still gaining reward and following our religious duties even though we feel we are not doing the best at times. Mother’s in Islam have gone through major trials by handing their faith in The Almighty and we should also do the same with ours. If you struggle remember we all struggle and the best medicine for this is to remember your place as the pillar in the house and the rewards you are gaining by just ‘living’.

Jazakallah for information given from Mufti Aslam. (Zimbabwe).

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Conversations you need to have with your partner

If you thought of marriage being a bed of roses and filled with only happiness, then you might want to re-think it. Marriage is like a thousand different things all at once. It takes hard work to make a marriage work ecspecially in the times we live in. There is good and bad, happiness and sadness, comfort and worry and it can all happen even at the same time!

Once you pass the wonderous honeymoon stage, reality of what you can overcome together becomes real. Then expenses, stress, children, work all become the reality of marriage. You will find that through juggling life with drop off’s, pick up’s, jobs, homework, housework, pets and keeping a home afloat, the love or ‘time’ we spend with one another lessen’s and we forget to talk about the things that actually matter.


A man went into the woods to hunt, but lost his way. For days he wandered in the forest, disorientated and confused, desperately trying to find his way out. He was hopeless.
     After some time, he saw another man approaching in the distance. At last, he thought to himself, “a person who knows how to get out of this forest.” When they met, he asked the man, “My brother, can you tell me the way out of this forest? I have been wandering for days, but have been unable to find the way.”
     The other fellow answered, “Brother, I do not know the way out either. I, too, have been wandering about these woods for days. Let us journey on together. Perhaps, side by side, we can figure a way out.” The man was no longer hopeless.

Companionship makes our suffering tolerable. A journey faced alone may sometimes seem wonderful, till you face a problem that could have been better solved together. It takes two to drive a marriage smoothly through a bumpy road, one needs to drive and one needs to guide.


Powerful couples are made, when walking towards the same goals. Hand in hand. Heart in heart. Goal in goal. Below are a few topics to start talking about today:

1. Dreams or Goals or both!

Although these are things most couples talk about in their early relationships. Things will change over the years and it is good to get up to speed on you and your partners long term goals/dreams. Planning towards these listed items will keep you tackling goals and keep you spending time together. Wether it is painting your bedroom, running that 10km marathon or even going on that long awaited vacation. Keep your plans in view and stay in tune.

“The great marriages are partnerships. It can’t be a great marriage without being a partnership.”

– Helen Mirren
2. Fears.

If you can overcome this topic with your partner then the rest seems very easy to follow through with. As human beings we are made to feel insecure and not want the person we love and care to know what our souls fear, for fear of them loosing the care they have for us. I believe talking to your partner about these related feelings, makes a relationship stronger. You are breaking the barrier of distrust and allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Your partner will appreciate your honesty.

So talk about the relationship insecurtities, the family problem, the paternal issue, the fight you have or always have. Whatever you feel you need, you should be able to talk to your partner to resolve it or come to a neutral ground. Rather be a lover than a fighter. We are friends before we are partners. Remember this.

“My husband has made me laugh. Wiped my tears. Hugged me tight. Watched me succeed. Seen me fail. Kept me strong. My husband is a promise that I will have a friend forever.”

-Unknown
3. Parenting styles

Gosh, we all know we are busy and busy trying to be the best parents we can be that we overlook this topic sometimes, well most times. Yet, we need to find that time to sit and talk about how we will discipline the children the next time something happens, or how we want to educate our kids even what activities we choose as parents for our kids.

Knowing you are on the same page ecspecially when it comes to our kids, makes them see us as a unit. It does not allow them to pick our weaknesses and take advantage of it. Kids know which parent to pick in any circumstance to help them get their way. Save yourself for future teen years and show a united front.

“I think that enduring, committed love between a married couple, along with raising children, is the most noble act anyone can aspire to.”

— Nicholas Sparks
4. Finances.

Financial stability is the main cause for divorce in this world at this very moment. But, if you have joined your lives then surely you must be able to talk through financials. I am not talking about the dress you bought for R500 and told hubby it was R200 on special! Im talking about talking about finances even if you have seperate accounts because you always need to be aware of your partners debt as it could end up becoming your debt if your something had to happen to that person.

Everyone handles their money in different ways, but knowing what is going on with each other keeps there from being this burden thrown at you unexpectedly one fine morning whilst you think you on the free path. Even if you do not have debts, discuss your weekly spends, financial goals and even a savings account for the both of you to upkeep. Always try to give as much important information open in case there is an emergency.

Look I understand some couples ecspecially the men do not share their financial information. But, to be hinest they need to grow up. If you are spending your life with someone who is suppose to mean something to you. Have some faith in your spouse, then your spouse will have more faith in you. Like I say marriage is a two way street!

“Every relationship goes through a struggle, but only strong relationships get through it.”

-Unknown
5. FAITH

Faith in Allah, God etc.. strengthens any relationship as our religions guide us and keep our commitment to each other at the top of our list. Relationships also suffer when two people dont share the same beliefs. Sometimes in our marriages we think it will be easy to have two beliefs and some people do manage this and I congratulate them on it. But most times, we see relationships break because they cant agree on certain aspects of their lives and when kid’s get involved there brings bigger problems. Not to mention the families tend to get involved more too which doesnt help anyone either.

Faith is experienced at different levels in everyone lives but having an understanding of one partners beliefs to you own makes you better people, and your bond greater, if we try to see the good and the efforts made by our spouse then this in turn will also allow our relationship to grow in itself. Life is a learning curve and so is religion. Nobody is perfect, so try not to expect perfection in your individual spirituality too.

“Problems should be like speed bumps. You slow down just to get over it, but you don’t let it stop you from heading to your destination.

-Sonya Parker


To end it all marriage is not a bed of roses. You will experience up’s and down’s but if you do not have the proper communication, well that makes it much harder to remain a couple. Keep your conversations regular and keep these things and other things you find important too at the forefront. I promise, you will see a difference.

Interview – Rachel Kolisi

Rachel Kolisi is a working mom but she balances her career and home life with such grace. We caught up with her to ask her a bit about herself and her family life beyond being the wife of South African Rugby captain Siya Kolisi.

This is what she had to share with us.


Hi Rachel thank you for sharing with us here at mom_scaping. We appreciate the time you have taken to speak to us.

1.When you became a mother for the first time, did you face any challenges post pregnancy?

Recovery? Yes, my son was born at 32 weeks and was in NICU for 3 weeks after his birth we were home for 2 days and my liver started failing so we were readmitted 

Depression? No

Hormonal Issues? No

2. Who is more like you between Nicholas and Keziah?

I think they both have a lot of me in them in different kind of ways. But people often say Kez is a lot like Siya and Nic a lot like me (personality wise)

3. Many women admire the fact that you have taken Liphelo and Liyema as your children officially. Can you offer advice to moms out there who also are undergoing an adoption too?

It’s worth every single fight and battle you endure along the way to getting them. I know Its sometime extremely difficult navigating the legalities but just remember who you’re doing it for. You’re changing a Childs entire life and thats no small thing.

4. Do you have a mom role model? Someone who inspires you.

I have plenty in my personal circle that I admire and try learn from. Moms that have managed to raise incredible men and women (sometimes on their one) while building a incredible career for themselves. And some that sacrificed their own dreams and careers in order for their husbands to thrive in the work environment and children upbringing are top priority.

5. What is your favourite quote, or saying you live by?

Proverbs 3:6 , Read more

6. You are an entrepreneur and a mom of 4 beautiful kids. How do you balance work life and home life?

I have the most incredible business partner. and the most supportive husband. Sometimes I feel like I’m dropping the ball either at work or at home with the children and the guilt is so real, but I have amazing people around me who remind me that it’s okay to not have it altogether 100% of the time. I organise my days really well and always remember whats priority.

7. What inspired you to start Rise Woman?

It was actually first conceptualised by my partner Tammy Rawstron, and was birthed from a place of desperation, we were both going through really tough personal experiences and went on a health/fitness,heart, sole , mind journey and a lot of women wanted to know more about it and we wanted to make it accessible to all women, and Rise was created.

8. Lastly, are there any future plans that you could share with us for your journey to empower woman?

We have some massively exciting thing coming around the time of our 1st birthday (1st of June 2020) but for now we are about to launch our online training program (rise_studios__ on insta) which is great during this isolation period for those wanting to get a workout in.

9. How do you deal with the controversy that sometimes surrounds your marriage in the media and social media users?

People always have unnecessary comments! I don’t give these people or their comments any energy unless I have a good clap back ready 🙂

Follow Rachel on IG : https://www.instagram.com/rachel_kolisi/?hl=en

Rise: https://risewomen.org.za/

Ditch the supermom act

Ditch the pressure of being a supermom – just be a super mom?

There is a shit load to do in the day and in the night, you will not be able to do everything for everyone and look like Eva mendez all at once and thats ok! So lets all take the cape off for one dam moment and give ourselves a break. We deserve it!

Do not succumb to the pressure you see from other mom’s out there on social media or even girls you may know who seem to have all there ducks in a row. Lets be real, motherhood is one tiring journey where your stuck between wanting to spend all your time with your kids and be the rock star mom you are but also want to have a coffee and watch your favourite netflix show without feeling tired by 9pm.

No one is over here trying to tell you, your not an awesome mom because you shout at your kids a few times a day or tell them to eat their food for the millionth time or forget to pack something for school, again.

This is the life of a mom. If your not in between sleepless nights, diaper changing, weaning, carpooling, exercising, homework and errand running – you are cooking, being a wife, a daughter, a daughter in law, a friend, working, studying and even running a business.

Give yourself a break and do what you feel is right and what you can manage, be the best mom you already are. Don’t aspire to be like another mom you know, just live your best life and be happy, we all have different journies and trials and we are all great moms.

Life is life and motherhood is real.

So to all the mom’s out there who know me or don’t know me. I love gangster rap music, I love to dance and sing whist I iron clothes, I have very few good friends, I speak my mind about motherhood and life and yes I shout at my kids sometimes and tell them to eat their food a milion times a day, but it doesnt make me a bad mom it makes me a human.

Love to all my real super moms be you and enjoy your journey.